What a fucking waste of an outfit
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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