God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
