Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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