where am i from again
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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