why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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