her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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