There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize