Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. đ
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have âdaddy issuesâ. Fuck all of you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
