eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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