I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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