I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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