If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
