you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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