wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We have started to decorate penises.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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