she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
