I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
