This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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