Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
