Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
