fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
