It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
