All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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