Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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