I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
