Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize