If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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