We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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