Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
