In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The beer is more important than you right now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
