it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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