im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I will be naked everywhere
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He did a backflip because drugs
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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