So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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