Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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