This girl is more easily done than said...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
