Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
50% drunk capacity currently
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
