Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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