I'm sorry my penis didn't work
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize