Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
