you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
