I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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