Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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