That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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