I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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