Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
