i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
