We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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