So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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