The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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