we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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