she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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