she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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