Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
