He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
