He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
