You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
