Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
