Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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