I feel great
I just peed on a car
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize