he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
