You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Me too!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Randomize
