Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
