Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
