Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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