I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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